Dizzi-Izzy

Please, just listen. Im just a girl
Trying to shout out for help; or a hand
Please take a read; just listen
Look from my view; Try and understand?

I love my Dad; O Dear God i do
But some things i need to ask why
Because isn't my love in my heart
Good enough; He likes to see me hurt and cry?

It happens every week;
Since i turned eight years old
Please understand im thirteen and weak
This is an act; bravery and bold

I want to tell you; so much
So maybe one of you can help me?
I can't do this on my own; alone
So please im begging on my knees

Friday night; Pub night for Dad
So he forgets all about my Mom
Drinks till he can hardly stand
Sometimes a quick drink for fun?

Mom left me when i was seven and a half
But its all in the past; o i miss her though
I look at my father; crying he is
But when is it time; for his pain to show

Friday after a drink; he can stand and walk
Hes not out his face; tripping to fall
"Jess get down these staires"
At 12 Midnight; Its not like him to call

Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
He pats the seat in the middle; i sit
Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends

"Jessy you love me dont you" a smile; his
Their breathe spirts weep
"Daddy you know i do; what is it?"
He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps

His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
Daddys creeping up my nightie; cold hands
I try to pull his hand away; grip is strong!
They look at one another; nod; something planned

I feel my palms sweat; Daddys under my knickers
"Daddy im going to bed! Night" Pulling again
But there grip is to strong for weak me
I look at both; and ask, who are these men?

His fingers going up me; pulling away
His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
His toungue moving mine; my eyes squint
Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"

No answer, i feel the pain inside me; him
Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
I try and scamper away, but im not fast enough
"O Daddy please, i love you"
His friend; pulling at my nightie
And my Dad pulling my pants down
His friend pinning my hands to the floor
As my Dad lies himself on the ground

I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
And places me ontop of Daddy; thursts within
I cry; i bite; i scratch; i slap; i fail
"O Daddy please you win you win!"

I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
I can feel the blood seep down my leg
"Daddy your hurting me please"
I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg

Daddys laughing; why does he laugh?
His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
Tieing my hands together; moving in and out
"Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans

They smile at one another; laugh too
They roll me over and spread me wide
My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
While his friend talks and pushes himself inside

I can hardly breathe; i gag for air
I cough and splutter; cry and weep
I beg and plead; but its no use
They've already made me hurt and bleed

I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
This is not my Dad; where is he?
If he was still here; would he care
Would he actually even see?

Finally they get off and lie me on the sofa
My cheeks blotchy from tears and pain
They play with them selfs; all over me
Rub it in; making me feel the shame

"Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
"Jessy i love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
"Is that all you have in your heart to say?"

He puts my nightie on me
I walks me to my bedroom door
Ever since that night; His friend
And himself every Friday come back for more

"Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
Closing the door, tears still down my face
Still the smell of him and his friend
Fade into me like disgrace

I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
"Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
I cant help but cry; weep in pain
Because im so scared he wanted more

But one night daddy took it too far
Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
They were worried they would get caught
So he and his friend took me to a cemetary lot

I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
"Daddy please!! Not tonight!"
Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
After that i tried to put up a fight

I begged daddy "Please no more!"
All he could say "Shut up you stupid b***h!"
Daddy unblindfolded me at last
He said I love you so much

He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
"Daddy I swear I wont say a thing!!!!"
I was dead
After only one swing

My name is Misty
I'm only three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have
Made my daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.

When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse,
My name he calls,
I press myself
Against the wall.

I try and hide
From his evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping,
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream,
But its much too late.
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain
Again and again.
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Misty
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

Piczo